Hello, I am Lord Gwildor and I am a naked effeminate dog that most people assume to be a girl. In fact, lets not pretend anymore. I am a person and my mummy knows exactly what I'm saying to her.
- curling up in the Gwilball, double Gwil points if its on an item of clothing, mmm smells of the people.
- drinking tea out of your cup, I don't want my own saucer, I'd rather share yours.
- getting under the bed covers for a good old nap, extra Gwil points if someone is in there with me.
- Chicken. All other meats. Carrots if accompanied by meats. Apples. Whatever is on your plate right now.
- Long luxurious stretches. And a good Gwilshake, right down to the tail.
- Chasing refracted light around the carpet. Hold your glasses up to a light source and jiggle it round for hours of fun.
- Any kind of animal turned into a plushy ball. Oh yes bunny ball!
- Sitting with a view of the of my kingdom and telling any passersby to stop trespassing on my land.
- Rubbish bins out on the street on bin day.
- Anything in an unexpected or unusual place. Especially watering cans. Where do they come from all the time? That was not there yesterday. Is that can following me?
- Other dogs. Especially if they want to sniff me. Ewww. I am not an animal.
- Small children. Particularly those being pushed around in a pram. Or on bikes. That is totally worst case scenario.
- Putting on the lead for walkies. Walkies is okay so long as its not raining. Or damp. Or windy. Or outside for too long.
Gwilym is a proper person in our family and when we tell stories about him we include what he said as if he actually talks. Because to us he does. He's cool and pensive and if he was a career dog he'd be a poet. He's got his flaws like anyone else but no one snuggles like the Gwildog. His skin is super soft and he likes to be held like a baby so you can stroke his belly. And he smells divine. I love my dog.
Thanks to Danielle for inspiring this post.