My best four legged friend

Hello, I am Lord Gwildor and I am a naked effeminate dog that most people assume to be a girl. In fact, lets not pretend anymore. I am a person and my mummy knows exactly what I'm saying to her.

I like:
  • curling up in the Gwilball, double Gwil points if its on an item of clothing, mmm smells of the people.
  • drinking tea out of your cup, I don't want my own saucer, I'd rather share yours.
  • getting under the bed covers for a good old nap, extra Gwil points if someone is in there with me.
  • Chicken. All other meats. Carrots if accompanied by meats. Apples. Whatever is on your plate right now.
  • Long luxurious stretches. And a good Gwilshake, right down to the tail.
  • Chasing refracted light around the carpet. Hold your glasses up to a light source and jiggle it round for hours of fun.
  • Any kind of animal turned into a plushy ball. Oh yes bunny ball!
  • Sitting with a view of the of my kingdom and telling any passersby to stop trespassing on my land.
  • Rubbish bins out on the street on bin day.
  • Anything in an unexpected or unusual place. Especially watering cans. Where do they come from all the time? That was not there yesterday. Is that can following me?
  • Other dogs. Especially if they want to sniff me. Ewww. I am not an animal.
  • Small children. Particularly those being pushed around in a pram. Or on bikes. That is totally worst case scenario.
  • Putting on the lead for walkies. Walkies is okay so long as its not raining. Or damp. Or windy. Or outside for too long.

Gwilym is a proper person in our family and when we tell stories about him we include what he said as if he actually talks. Because to us he does. He's cool and pensive and if he was a career dog he'd be a poet. He's got his flaws like anyone else but no one snuggles like the Gwildog. His skin is super soft and he likes to be held like a baby so you can stroke his belly. And he smells divine. I love my dog.

Thanks to Danielle for inspiring this post.

4 Stories: Biscuits

Sadly, LA was off having lovely adventures last week so in the absence of a 4 stories prompt I have come up with my own to keep on track of posting.

One: My mum

If there is anyone I know who I would call a biscuit obsessive, it is my mum. For a while when I was younger and my mum was concerned about her weight biscuits in all forms were banned from the house and we weren't even allowed down the biscuit aisle at the supermarket. These days however, mum keeps a constant supply of digestive biscuits to hand and eats them throughout the day. She is also enabling my biscuit obsession. Last week after dinner she asked if I wanted some cadburys chocolate fingers. I declined and asked mum not to even open the box because they wouldn't last long. Well mum went and opened the box and I was forced to have a couple. Which turned into a handful. So mum had a handful. And then there wasn't really enough left in the box to make it worthwhile keeping so we shared the remaining few and just like that a box of fingers was devoured in less than 2 minutes.

Two: Dunking

I love dunking biscuits in my tea, particularly chocolate hobnobs. However, because I like to dunk right after the tea has been made and is at its hottest it poses a significant risk of reducing the structural integrity of the biscuit. A hobnob can take the hot tea, but if you try and dunk a golden crunch biscuit, even though it looks similar to its cousin the hobnob, the hot tea will seep through the biscuit and you will lose it into your cuppa. Trust me, I know!

Three: Fig rolls

I did not discover the joy of the humble fig roll until I started full time employment. Our company uses only a few venues for its training courses and one of these venues always serves up fig rolls with tea and coffee at break times. As I had psyched myself up for a drink and a biscuit I forced myself to try the fig roll even though it sounded more like something my gran would eat. The fig roll quickly became a firm favourite and I can now eat a whole packet in almost the same amount of time it takes me to polish off a pack of fingers.

Four: Gwildog

Lots of things smell like biscuits. Annoyingly, fake tan smells like yucky biscuits and is the main reason why I choose to stay pale. One of my favourite biscuit smells however is the smell of a warm Gwilym fresh from under the covers. Essence de Gwilbiscuit is definitely up there on the list of comforting smells and is closely followed by the joyful sound of a Gwilshake. Heaven!

I hope that LA gets back on track with her 4 stories posting this week but if not I have already come up with the back up topic of Japan as a vehicle to post my pictures of the hyperJapan expo this weekend!